Management Lessons‏(copy fr email)

Lesson Number One
*****************
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing

all day. A small

rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I

also sit like you and

do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the

crow, and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the

rabbit and ate it.


Management Lesson?

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be

sitting very, very high up.



Lesson Number Two
*******************
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would

love to be able to

get to the top of that tree," sighed the

turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my

droppings?" replied

the bull. They're packed with nutrients." The

turkey pecked at a

lump of dung and found that it actually gave

him enough strength

to reach the first branch of the tree. The

next day, after

eating some more dung, he reached the second

branch.

Finally after a fourth night, there he was

proudly perched at

the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted

by a farmer,

who shot the turkey out of the tree.


Management Lesson?

Bullshit might get you to the top, but it

won't keep you there.



Lesson Number Three
*********************
When the body was first made, all the parts

wanted to be Boss.

The brain said, "I should be Boss because I

control the whole

body's responses and functions." The feet

said, " We should

be Boss as we carry the brain about and get

him to where he

wants to go." The hands said, "We should be

the Boss because

we do all the work and earn all the money.

And so it went on and on with the heart, the

lungs and the eyes

until finally the asshole spoke up. All the

parts laughed at the

idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the

asshole went on

strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

Within a short time the eyes became crossed,

the hands clenched,

the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began

to panic and the brain fevered.

Eventually they all decided that the asshole

should be the Boss,

so the motion was passed. All the other parts

did all the work

while the Boss just sat and passed out the

shit!


Management Lesson?

You don't need brains to be a Boss - any

asshole will do.



Lesson Number Four
**********************
A little bird was flying south for the winter.

It was so cold,

the bird froze and fell to the ground in a

large field. While it

was lying there, a cow came by and dropped

some dung on it.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of

cow dung, it began to

realize how warm it was. The dung was actually

thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon

began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came

to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the

bird under the pile

of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate

him!



Management Lesson?
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your

enemy.

2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is

your friend.